This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
