she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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