Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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