It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
my sisters under your porch take her home
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Randomize
