I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
