i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize