I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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