omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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