hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
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