this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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