Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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