It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
