I like my sex mixed with concussions.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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