Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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