dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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