Well douche your snatch and let's go!
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
