I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
