I got her a Nickelback box set.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
