She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
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