wake up i wanna do it froggy style
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize