can we get nightvision for the apartment?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
