last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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