the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
