i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize