I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
