Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize