Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
