You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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