Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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