Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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