I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize