Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
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