I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
this just has baby written all over it
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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