dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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