Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
