4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
