she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Someone came in the potted fern
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
