I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Randomize
