I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
