never play flip cup with pint glasses
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
