I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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