I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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