dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
