I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
