Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
