What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
