The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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