You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
