is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
