then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
