try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
