glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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