$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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