doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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