he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Randomize
