So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
