I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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