I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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