Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
