the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
