do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize